1. Beyond Evil

(About: Two detectives who try to figure out who’s responsible for a series of murders in a quiet town.)

    Beyond Evil was the k-drama that was able to bring me back from my months of k-drama slump. As i began to watched, it didn’t take me long for me to see why it has lots of positive reviews from the viewers & recently won the best drama of the year at the Baeksang Arts Awards. They were right about Beyond Evil being one of the best psychological thriller kdrama out there: Beyond Evil is filled with solid performance, brilliant writing, and unique atmosphere–the kind that makes you feel caught up in a small town called Manyang and the people in it. What made the stories even more complex and interesting is how all the character stand out by being so shady and have secrets of their own.

2. Law School

   (About: the case of the murder of a professor at South Korea’s prestigious law school which involved professors and students as suspects of the murder.)

    I truly enjoy watching this drama…but first of all I’m gonna be honest that I found the first few episodes as kinda confusing to watch. I didn’t expect the stories to be so fast paced and for us to be displayed to the heart of the conflict right away (the death of the professor, when we barely even knew him). We were also being introduced to many characters at once while they continuously jumped back and forth in time with not many things to help us differentiate between different timelines. However as the story progressed, it became more easy to follow and the story became more engaging to watch. What engaged me the most was the empathic and righteous character of Kang Sol A who has a mission to get an apology from the law. I was excited to see her carried things to the better despite no characters expected her to do so. I was also looking forward to see the soft side of “Yangcrates”, the ruthless professor in the drama. Though I’m being careful not to trust certain characters too much, I found all the characters here as interesting and I was all up to know each character deeper.

3. Youth Of May

(About: two people who fell for each other in the midst of a whirlpool of history in May 1980)

    The mellow atmosphere, the stories, and the characters were what made me so invested with the stories. Lee Do Hyun’s character in this drama is one among a few male leads that i truly like. I also found Go Min Si’s character as adorable with her hard-working & careful personality. Both actors displayed such an adorable chemistry. The fun interaction and the cute lovable scenes between the lead couple though…I’m so rooting for them. Although judging from the beginning of the drama, I could smell the tragic story is coming for them. But I’m already on board for this couple and will continue to watch it anyway.

4. Taxi Driver

(About: A mysterious taxi service that takes revenge on behalf of victims who are unable to get justice from the law.)

5. Doom at Your Service

(About: Dong Kyung, a hardworking woman who is diagnosed with a brain cancer, risking her everything to make a contract with Myul Mang, a messanger between god and human to live as how she wants for a hundred days.)

    The aesthetic poster didn’t lie; this drama was a pleasant to eyes. Especially the beautiful art from the intro video! It’s also nice to see Park Bo Young & Seo In Guk on-screen again (although I haven’t moved on from Seo In Guk’s persona in The Smile Has Left Your Eyes lol). Seeing them made me reminded once again just how enjoyable it was to see their acting skills. So far, there are only a few eps released but the story already seemed appealing and filled with interesting side characters.

6. Move to Heaven

(About: A young man with Asperger syndrome and his uncle work as trauma cleaners, clearing out the possessions of dead people, uncovering the stories they left behind and telling them to loved ones)

    Judging from the plot, I knew this drama would make me cry from beginning to end. And I was right. Indeed, it really had tear jerking stories. I even cried from the first episode. I love the way this drama was like a breath of fresh air with its beautiful stories & lessons to give, wrapped in a soothing vibe. The drama managed to be so moving and makes us reflect a lot about life, death, and how everyone around us has their own stories & feelings and we have to respect them.

7. So I Married an Anti Fan

(About: Kpop top star Whoo Joon & his anti fan Geun Yong who start to live together by chance & grow affection for each other)

    This drama was alright though it got cringey at times. A few things that bothered me was the awkward directing & lack of deep communication between the characters. Yet, I still watched it anyway for Choi Tae Joon & Choi Sooyoung whose acting made the drama fun to watch. I am also expecting more since i read the manhwa and knew the potential of the story.

8. Off the Course

(About: A comical road-case drama where a mother and a daughter chase the groom who ran away during their wedding day)

    I’ve really missed seeing Nam Ji Hyun’s acting and therefore it was so refreshing to see her in this drama. She was very talented at portraying different emotions as always. Off the Course depicted a relationship between a mother and her daughter with a meaningful story to reflect on. The chemistry between Nam Ji Hyun and Park i Young, her “on-screen mother”, was also incredible it made me hoping I could see them working together again in another project. Since Off the Course only had 2 episodes, watching it felt like I was in for a short entertaining journey

1. Hospital Playlist

2. Flower of Evil

    This drama is gold! It has a promising premise, and the rest of the story went better than I expected. It just never let me down. I thought it’s merely about a time travel story, but turns out it’s more than that. I never knew what to expect & every time I thought I figured something out, they always have a way to throw a surprise every week. This drama deserves more recognition imo.

5. When the Weather is Fine

    This drama is a pleasant to eyes and heart. Watching it is like having a warm tea during winter days. I wasn’t truly engaged with the first eps, but I slowly began to see how beautiful & heartwarming this drama is. Yes, the story pace is a bit slow, but I realized that it’s important to make us understand each character deeply, what they suffer from, and how the characters slowly develop. It shows us that the journey toward emotional healing may take time, but it’s worth it. Choosing to heal itself is a big step & deserves an appreciation. Another thing I highly praise from this drama is how it implicitly reminds us that if we do suffer emotionally, don’t be afraid to ask for help, or to let someone help you.

6. Tale of the Nine Tailed

     From the first moment I knew who would cast in this drama and what the drama is about, it’s obvious that I’d love it. And I was right. The first eps had already got me hooked. The stories were amazing & funny at times. It has an intriguing plot wrapped in mystical & suspenseful vibes–the vibes I never knew I liked! It was interesting how they told the story of urban legends in a (mainly) modern setting.  I absolutely love the lead female character! Throughout watching, I keep finding myself being amazed by her tough and intelligent character. In addition, it has unique lovable characters that complete the drama. Not to mention how adorable Kim Bum’s character here. He & Lee Dong Wook’s bromance is to die for.

7. Do You Like Brahms?

    I watched it merely to ease my boredom and later found myself fall in love the instant I watched the first eps. The drama is just beautifully done. It has soothing music & ambience and mainly revolves around good people. It’s appealing how they portrayed the different perspectives between the lead couple–one who doesn’t have talent but works hard to achieve her dream, and one who has talent but wishes he didn’t have it. Though the lead couple has different dreams, I can’t help but rooting for them… as I’ve never seen a relationship so awkward yet so real and so adorable before them.

8. Record of Youth

    Honestly, it took a bit long for me to be completely enamored of the stories and feel what the characters feel. But as the stories developed, I began to cherish what this drama tried to show us: of how important it is to have good communication & to support each other in our family, of how everyone has different timings in life, and that everyone could have second chance in life. It’s also refreshing to see the main couple here & how they interact; we could learn a lot from their communication & relationship. Overall, record of youth is one light & comforting kdrama that’s perfect to watch while we need a short escape or need something to cheer us up.

9. Start Up

    To be honest, I have a conflicted feelings towards this kdrama. It started off as great but…I have a hard time making sense of some of the stories afterward. And not to mention how people used to ship-debating every week it was a bit draining 😅. But to exclude it from my last year fav kdrama list seems wrong anyhow because I did love some part of this drama. Idk, it gave off this positive energy that I needed to go through a crazy year. It somehow encouraged me to move forward & fight for my dream no matter what. The story’s also quiet creative and relatable in nowadays world, while also educating us about the world of business.

10. Find Me in Your Memory

    I started watching without any expectations and turns out it’s really good. It’s not hard to love this drama since it has likeable characters with interesting background (a guy who can’t forget everything & a woman who forgets some of her important moments). The lead couple’s interactions were interesting to watch. They have the kind of romance that grows slowly & when it finally reachs its peak, it burns. I loved every minute of it.

1. Chae Song Hwa

When I couldn't seem to rely on someone, it was the trees that hold my secrets. It kept my bottled up feelings--in the language of sighs; in the language of silence and sorrowful eyes. Most of the times I came to the trees with broken wings then I would leave with a new pair of wings. I became free again. And that was all i ever needed, honestly.

Aku selalu merindukan bulan ini, rindu pada rasa damai yang diselipkannya ke hatiku, selalu. Bulan yang sejuk itu, aku rindu. Bahkan setelah datang, aku masih rindu. Tidak seperti biasanya. Biasanya aku hanya tinggal menjalani momen dan menikmati damainya bulan ini. Tetapi tidak kali ini. Tidak tahun ini. Setelah menunggu satu tahun akhirnya bulan ini hadir di depan pintu, tetapi dia belum menyapaku, belum merangkulku. Dia belum merasuk ke hatiku. Aku sangat frustasi, kenapa? Apa yang salah?

Pikiranku jadi kelut. Memikirkan cara untuk kembali merasa apa yang seharusnya kurasa. Aku ingin mendedikasikan diriku pada waktu singkat ini, tapi dunia sekitarku menuntut untuk mengerjakan hal lain. "Ini dulu! Ini penting!" "Ini juga penting!". Semuanya tiba-tiba menjadi penting. Kepalaku jadi pening.
Setelah semuanya selesai, baru kulakukan ini-itu, termasuk rutinitas yang kujalankan tahun lalu. Tapi masih, yang kurasakan bukan keteduhan yang sama.

Mungkin, mungkin hanya, aku terlalu memikirkan masa depan. Mungkin aku terlalu fokus pada nodaku dengan sesama manusia. Terlalu banyak distraksi, prioritasku tengah diuji.

Barulah setelahnya aku tersadar, bahwa
rindu ini tidak lain sebuah pesan untukku
bahwa aku telah jauh,
jauh dari diriku sendiri
jauh
dari diri Nya

• It's interesting to see how people interact before modern technology take over the world. Books, radio, and a small screen tv are what kept them entertained, other than concert. I couldn't imagine.
• It's important! This drama doesn't just focus on the five leads, but also their families. Each family members has a chance of spotlight as this drama is just not about the friendship between the childrens, but also the friendship between the moms, and the dads. Childrens like to hang out and play together, moms like to make food together, and of course they like to talk about their childrens and their husbands. Whereas dads like to hang out and drink together, talk about work, family, and wifes
• And so they showed us life through children's eyes, life through father's eyes, and life through mother's eyes so we can understand life from each perspective. 
• The meaning of a family that implied in this drama, that despite everything, family is a home to come back to. And that is a true quotes, indeed.
• The casts act naturally and the script potrayed the trueness of relationship. That us humans sometimes argue with our closest ones, screamed at each other. Sometimes when one's sad, we're willing to be sad too with them. And truly, we want each other to just be happy and so it is a task for us to remind each other that there are happy things to celebrate everyday.
• Boy! I mean, those boys, they care so much for each other even when they argue a lot. And it's so cute seeing them sleeping together (OFC it's only happened when they stay overnight in one's house, gosh) and doing boys talk.
• Someone once said "boy best friends may say mean things to you, but what they do to you are sweet". The boys may mock and laugh at Deok Sun but there's no doubt they love Deok Sun sincerely at heart and ready to protect her anytime. This is why people say us girls should have boy best friends.
• Bonus: cute scenes of their love lives❤
• Anything else that I love about this drama? Everything.

Malam menanggalkan gigi-giginya
ketika bulan terlalu putih untuk sebuah bulan
dan aku terlalu jauh dari sorot purnama

Sehari-hari kuteguk kekosongan
yang dituangkan pada gelas-gelas tak bernyawa
Bagaimana bisa kekosongan terasa begitu berat?
Sedang siang seolah menumpulkan jejak terang
hingga aku tak dapat lagi mencerna
semua yang dipakani matahari

Kesenduan mencakar sendi-sendi petang
Tak lagi kuraup kesenangan
sedangkan hati sebusuk kenangan

jiwa yang mati
diburu kekosongan


2014.

6/8/14

    It was the second day of June, 2014, the day of 1D's On the Road Again Tour's online ticket selling in Indonesia. I was so excited since it was their first ever concert in my country (!!). I knew I would regret it if I didn't buy the ticket. I have waited four years to see them in real life. The thing is, I have a midterm test on the same day of their ticket selling. I have spent years being in the fandom to know that their tickets sold out fast, that's why I was so worried I wouldn't get the ticket. Not wanting that to happen, I asked my dad/brother a favor to buy it for me since I had to go to school. I wasn't the only one that does that, another friend of mine at school (Azka) also did the same. We were such a dedicated directioners back then. We spent the day at school being worried about not getting the ticket. Fortunately, we get them, B Festival tickets! The one nearest to the stage. I couldn't be more happier.

    I have to wait for another year to actually use the ticket. On March 2015, two days before their concert, I went to Hall A Senayan Jakarta to change my ticket into a bracelet. It was a gold bracelet made of a fabric that somehow felt itchy on my skin.. It was already so crowded once I arrived in Hall A. Besides the fans, there were so many unofficial 1D merchandise sellers around the building. Since it was too crowded, I have to stand in queue for two hours until I get the bracellet. I went there with my mom, and she sat outside of the building waiting for me with the others. My mom sat next to another mom of a directioner. She told my mom that she had to actually borrow some money from her neighbor so that she could buy the ticket for her daughter...:( Oh, and we had unfortunate news too, that Zayn couldn't make it to the concert in Jakarta :( it was such a huge sad news for us, especially knowing zayn was the bias of many directioners.

     On the day of the concert, I checked the twitter to know the situation at GBK stadium Jakarta, the place where the concert was held. I was shocked to find that people already waited in line for the stadium gate to open since 4.30 am (the concert was held at approx. 7 pm, btw). The day was so cloudy, I felt so certain that the rain would fall by the time the concert started. At 12 pm, I could hear the sound of thunder. It was a bit louder than usual, that even the drummer of 1D band tweeted it was "the loudest thunder he's ever heard".

        As I arrived in GBK, I searched for Azka in the crowd. She waited for me with the other three friends that went to our school, so that makes us a group of five. It was still 2 pm, and we were standing outside of the stadium, waiting for the gate to be opened. Little did we know, us fans ended up standing outside of the GBK stadium from the afternoon until the evening. Imagine how tired our legs were. From what I remember, the line was heavily crowded that it was impossible to spare a room to take a sit. Therefore we were already worn out even before the concert started. The longer we waited outside, the more sensitive we were. The fans started to yell at each other "move forward!" so that they could get as near as possible to the stadium gate. The others yelled back "don't push me!!". It was so intense. I was so sure we would fight each other at some point. But thank god that didn't happen. Instead, we broke the intense atmosphere afterwards by singing 1D's songs together. Some of us even recited Al-fatihah (surah in quran, since most of us are moslems) together to gain some patiences😂. That really brought us closer emotionally. It was such an unforgettable memory.

        To be clear, we weren't supposed to wait for the gate to open that long. Some of us who have run out of patience yelled to the concert organizer "Open the gate now!" and then the rest of us followed "Yeah! It's about the time!" "Damn, what took you so long?". Other times, we (the fans who stood in the middle and in the back of the crowd) heard the fans from the front row screaming. I don't know who spread the news, but I heard the fans in the front saw a glimpse of the boys (1d members). The news quickly followed by excited fans' screams, but stopped immediately when some of the realistic fans said "that wasn't the boys. That must be the mas-mas (Indonesian words for men) from the concert organizer".

        To add to the crowd, there were sellers of beverages, light sticks, and rain coats around the fans. We were told not to bring any beverages from home, so we had no other choice than to buy it from them since we have to stay as hydrated as possible. I bought the light sticks too, Rp5.000 for two. Funny how one of my friend bought them too for Rp100.000 at the Hall A two days ago. The discrepancy of the price was no joke. One time I heard some fans bought a raincoat for Rp35.000, but I knew some others bought it for Rp10.000.

        Long story short, they finally opened the gate after hours of waiting outside. We immediately ran towards the gate like crazy, ignoring some fans who shouted "don't run!". We had no other choice than to hurried to the place nearest to the stage since the rest of us did so. I could feel the trashes and mud on my shoes as I ran (some stupid fans throw trashes on the ground). We ran like crazy, ignoring the rain on our bodies. Luckily, we already wore our rain coats.

      Just because we were already inside the stadium, doesn't mean the show would immediately started. We have to, once again, rely on our feet since we didn't have the space to sit. It was still better to wait inside since they entertained us by showing music mv of 5SOS, Little Mix, and Olly Murs. By the time the concert officially began with an appearance by an Indonesian DJ, I couldn't feel my legs anymore. It was already 7 pm, and I remembered I've been standing on my feet since 2 pm. The last time I ate something? 12 pm. The last time I drink water? 2 pm. My emotional support was seeing other fans (who were supposed to be as tired as me) being so excited and danced to the music played by the DJ. Azka kept asking us "are you guys still alright?" even though I knew for certain that she's also exhausted. She suggested us to sit at the back of the crowd if we couldn't hold it any longer. I was so tempted at her suggestion, because there was a looot of space behind the crowd. But I said I could still make it til the boys came. Azka nodded, "Alright then. When the boys are here, I'm sure we wouldn't even remember that we were tired", and that gave me strength. One of us, Arisa, suggested that we make some kind of baricade so that one of us could take turns to take a sit, and so we did. The ones who were standing helped create a current of air so the one who was sitting could still get the oxygen. It was an intense experience, but touching in a way. One time, we even share one handkerchief for our sweats, we didn't care anymore 😅. I couldn't even tell whether my body was wet with the rain or the sweats. Around 7.30 pm, a directioner near us asked the crowd with her loud voice, "who wants water?". She was holding a half-empty water bottle and we quickly took her offer. What an angel! Azka took it and excitedly shouted, "Are you serious?! We couldn't be more thankful!!". The five of us took turns drinking. The water tasted different, like it was a gift sent from above because I was so thirsty.

    I couldn't remember what time was it, but the boys appeared on stage at last. They apologized that they made us waited so long. "It's ok" I answered. I wanted to be angry at them for being late, but how could I when my emotions instantly in a happy state as soon as they appeared? I was so happy as I could be. Azka was right, all the weariness I felt before was instantly gone right at that moment. I stared at them at disbelief. Is this real? I see them for real?! Niall is here? Oh and he looks so good irl. And Harry is an actual person? He's so cute with his long hair. Louis... he seems like an even kinder person in real life. And Liam.. what an angel. He's so sweet and charming. I was torn between recording video of them or jump and sing along with the crowd. They said that Indonesia is the loudest, hehe, I knew their tricks. They knew how to make us happy (and it worked). Besides me was a fanboy who was so excited he jumped and sang out loud to every songs. Seeing him made me even more excited than before, lol.

    After a few songs, the lights were suddenly out. But I knew that wasn't the end. Together, we shouted "We want more! We want more!" and then...tada! There they were again, singing other songs. It wasn't until they sang best song ever that marked the end of the concert. They waved at us, thanking us for everything, and kept waving at us until they were out of the stage. We were as happy as we could be, and we were just as sad when the concert finished. Please, this shouldn't be the end. But they looked happy during the concert, so it was all worth it. Only I felt like there was something missing. I felt like they weren't as excited as they were at other concerts (from what I saw at other directioners' documentation). But I was already so happy just by seeing them. The concert was officially ended with fireworks. Beautiful fireworks. I couldn't believe it really was over. I wish they came back for another concert. And with Zayn too...

    On my way home from the GBK, I opened my fangirl twitter acc (as you expected from a fangirl...). I wanna share what an amazing concert that was and it was one of the best night ever. Tweet sent! I proceeded by scrolling the timeline only to be choked by a shocking news that zayn left 1d. I was like: "WHAT? ZAYN LEFT 1D?! ARE YOU KIDDING?! I JUST WENT TO THEIR CONCERT! DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN MY BEST NIGHT EVER?! IS THIS FOR REAL? WHY ZAYN? WHY?". I experienced a variety of emotions. It was so confusing that I even shed a tear lol :(. Less than an hour ago, I felt the most happy as I could be. And then I was hit with this terrible news. I was so disappointed that he left, and he announced it only with a facebook post. What hurt me more was I didn't even see it coming. And back at the concert, the boys looked okay and didn't tell us anything. I'm sure they were just being considerate to us fans and didn't want to ruin the night. It felt so messed up, I felt so happy to finally see the boys, but I felt so upset that I couldn't see them on stage with zayn anymore..

    Days after zayn left the band, the kids at school asked me how I feel about the news (since it's not a secret that I was a directioner and I just went to their concert). As a fan, of course I was not okay. There was this one boy who even made a joke about it by singing Fireproof to my ear and joked, "you know, they shouldn't make a new album called Four. The title eventually came true now that there's only four members in the band". Sigh. I couldn't even escape from the news. Everywhere I go, there were people talking about it. I saw it on tv and social media. There's just no escape. It was a torture, seeing the news. 

    So that was it. That was the past that I couldn't forget. As a fan of years, it wasn't easy to take the news, but I already made peace with the fact that things wouldn't be the same anymore. I think it was for the best. I would support all the members if they debuted as soloists if they do. Nevertheless, it was fun being a one direction fan. I got to make friends and have exciting experiences ever.